and She Said (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bloodied_quill) wrote,@ 2006-04-05 15:00:00 |
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Title: Reasoning
Category: fan fiction, one-shot
Genre: (angst/romantic)
Rating: G
Date: April 3, 2006
Written for![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
50stories
Theme: #33 - Mountain
Pairing: tetsu and hyde (unrequited) of L’Arc~en~Ciel (sub-pair hyde and Megumi)
Disclaimer: I do not own/am not affiliated with L’Arc~en~Ciel, Sony Ki/oon, Danger Crue, etc. This is a work of complete fiction. It’s for fun; I’m not going to make any money off of this. However, this particular story is my own writing, so please do not claim it as yours or repost it without permission.
Comments: Plot outline by request ofxstreetofalice.
Word Count: 910
POV: first person (hyde)
I wish I could use that trite line—“I remember it like it was yesterday”—but it’s not true anymore.
I don’t know who said what or what dirty jokes flew or what we were drinking or who acted the stupidest (I suspect it was me), but I remember the feeling—celebrating five years as L’Arc~en~Ciel, five years older, none the wiser, and almost too nervous to admit that we were finding success for fear that saying it would break the spell and it would all be an illusion.
It makes me feel so old when I think about just how long ago that was. When the band was my life and my family, and it was really that simple.
Maybe I miss it.
Some days when my evening is filled with my son’s frantic lament that he just can’t do his homework and my wife just can’t decide…something (okay, okay, I wasn’t listening. I’m terrible), I can almost, almost tell myself I wish it were still like that.
But that’d be a lie. Because in the morning, when I wake up next to this beautiful woman and find my son already up, at the kitchen table looking tired but proud and hoping one of us will read over his homework (the same that he just couldn’t do), I wouldn’t give this up for anything.
Don’t think that means I didn’t cry the day tetsu kept us late in the studio and told us it was over.
Even if we could maybe have agreed it was better this way, going out at the top instead of waiting to fall apart and fade away.
Just try reasoning with tears. It doesn’t work that way.
Once the tissues had gone ‘round and the self-conscious sniffling had set in, we made a few promises.
We’d go out smiling.
And we’d never forget.
Who we were, or each other.
We didn’t care how corny that that sounded.
The last tour, the last concert, the last all hands in for the pep talk, it really is a blur and I don’t have the words.
I’m just full of clichés these days, aren’t I?
Doesn’t matter.
It might have been a week, maybe two, later that tetsu called us up again, wanting to get us all together to go out for dinner and drinking, like a farewell or something.
I thought it was maybe a bit morbid and depressing, but of course I wasn’t going to say no. We needed that, really, to say goodbye.
And we’d all walked there, figuring we might end up drinking too much to drive, and none of actually did.
I think I saw tetsu start to cry when we said our goodbyes. I can’t be sure. I was a little busy sniffling myself.
Maybe I’d somehow forgotten that we lived in the same direction, or maybe I really had drank more than I remember, but it was something of a surprise when tetsu said he wanted to walk home with me. Even more of one when he walked all the way upstairs with me.
And I was properly stunned when he handed me a postcard, calloused fingers running over my cheek, a faint smile twitching at the corners of his lips. I must have looked startled, but he didn’t say a word. And before I could ask what was wrong, he turned away.
I called out after him and he looked back without stopping…
The tears in his eyes begged me to follow him and the pained smile begged me to stay put.
And nothing more.
I couldn’t watch the place he’d been anymore. Even though I almost wanted to stay frozen there and burn what had just happened into my memory, maybe so I could figure it out one day. Because I couldn’t understand right then. And I didn’t realize it wouldn’t be long until I did.
I stared at the front of the postcard for a full minute and a half without even considering flipping it over.
Mountains. Snowcapped. Probably European, though I never bothered to read that bit on the back.
And it never hit me, until that exact moment, how strong of a person that he was.
He’d taken a bunch of immature indies musicians and turned it into a band that lasted longer, made it higher than even he could have imagined back then.
Even through problems. Even when he took it hardest because he was supposed to be the strong leader for us. Even when he got used as the sounding board when he probably wanted to scream himself.
I flipped over the card.
It’s been so many years that my life has been L’Arc~en~Ciel that I don’t think I know what anything else is anymore.
I need to find out. I need this to be over. I need to move on.
I’ve always needed to move on.
I believe you can love someone from the moment you meet them. I realized that the day I saw you, even if it was hard to tell from your looks that you really were a man. I still believe that now every time I picture your smile.
And your smile shines out of that family portrait with your family, and they are just as beautiful as you are.
I can’t watch and I can’t wish any more.
But I know I can’t forget.
I can love you from here.
Ogawa Tetsuya
There was no return address.
The request:
xstreetofalice:
And it never hit me, until that exact moment, how strong of a person that he was.
That's what just popped in to my head as I began to write this, so I thought that I should put it there. Because it adds an extra perspective to it. L'arc has to break up and this is like, five years down the future. There has never been any talk of loving anyone and hyde's happily married to Megumi with his kid and tetsu's all doing his thing and so are everyone else. Then, for some reason, they do this whole "Let's get the band together and go out" again thing. They all go home and tetsu's walking hyde to the door and hands him a postcard with a mountain on it and walks away. It's a postcard about how tetsu's leaving to go be away from fame and all that good stuff, and on the postcard he reveals his always been secret love for hyde. But! There's no return address, so tetsu disappears and the hyde can not find him.
Comment if you read
Requests are open here.
Category: fan fiction, one-shot
Genre: (angst/romantic)
Rating: G
Date: April 3, 2006
Written for
50storiesTheme: #33 - Mountain
Pairing: tetsu and hyde (unrequited) of L’Arc~en~Ciel (sub-pair hyde and Megumi)
Disclaimer: I do not own/am not affiliated with L’Arc~en~Ciel, Sony Ki/oon, Danger Crue, etc. This is a work of complete fiction. It’s for fun; I’m not going to make any money off of this. However, this particular story is my own writing, so please do not claim it as yours or repost it without permission.
Comments: Plot outline by request of
xstreetofalice.Word Count: 910
POV: first person (hyde)
I wish I could use that trite line—“I remember it like it was yesterday”—but it’s not true anymore.
I don’t know who said what or what dirty jokes flew or what we were drinking or who acted the stupidest (I suspect it was me), but I remember the feeling—celebrating five years as L’Arc~en~Ciel, five years older, none the wiser, and almost too nervous to admit that we were finding success for fear that saying it would break the spell and it would all be an illusion.
It makes me feel so old when I think about just how long ago that was. When the band was my life and my family, and it was really that simple.
Maybe I miss it.
Some days when my evening is filled with my son’s frantic lament that he just can’t do his homework and my wife just can’t decide…something (okay, okay, I wasn’t listening. I’m terrible), I can almost, almost tell myself I wish it were still like that.
But that’d be a lie. Because in the morning, when I wake up next to this beautiful woman and find my son already up, at the kitchen table looking tired but proud and hoping one of us will read over his homework (the same that he just couldn’t do), I wouldn’t give this up for anything.
Don’t think that means I didn’t cry the day tetsu kept us late in the studio and told us it was over.
Even if we could maybe have agreed it was better this way, going out at the top instead of waiting to fall apart and fade away.
Just try reasoning with tears. It doesn’t work that way.
Once the tissues had gone ‘round and the self-conscious sniffling had set in, we made a few promises.
We’d go out smiling.
And we’d never forget.
Who we were, or each other.
We didn’t care how corny that that sounded.
The last tour, the last concert, the last all hands in for the pep talk, it really is a blur and I don’t have the words.
I’m just full of clichés these days, aren’t I?
Doesn’t matter.
It might have been a week, maybe two, later that tetsu called us up again, wanting to get us all together to go out for dinner and drinking, like a farewell or something.
I thought it was maybe a bit morbid and depressing, but of course I wasn’t going to say no. We needed that, really, to say goodbye.
And we’d all walked there, figuring we might end up drinking too much to drive, and none of actually did.
I think I saw tetsu start to cry when we said our goodbyes. I can’t be sure. I was a little busy sniffling myself.
Maybe I’d somehow forgotten that we lived in the same direction, or maybe I really had drank more than I remember, but it was something of a surprise when tetsu said he wanted to walk home with me. Even more of one when he walked all the way upstairs with me.
And I was properly stunned when he handed me a postcard, calloused fingers running over my cheek, a faint smile twitching at the corners of his lips. I must have looked startled, but he didn’t say a word. And before I could ask what was wrong, he turned away.
I called out after him and he looked back without stopping…
The tears in his eyes begged me to follow him and the pained smile begged me to stay put.
And nothing more.
I couldn’t watch the place he’d been anymore. Even though I almost wanted to stay frozen there and burn what had just happened into my memory, maybe so I could figure it out one day. Because I couldn’t understand right then. And I didn’t realize it wouldn’t be long until I did.
I stared at the front of the postcard for a full minute and a half without even considering flipping it over.
Mountains. Snowcapped. Probably European, though I never bothered to read that bit on the back.
And it never hit me, until that exact moment, how strong of a person that he was.
He’d taken a bunch of immature indies musicians and turned it into a band that lasted longer, made it higher than even he could have imagined back then.
Even through problems. Even when he took it hardest because he was supposed to be the strong leader for us. Even when he got used as the sounding board when he probably wanted to scream himself.
I flipped over the card.
It’s been so many years that my life has been L’Arc~en~Ciel that I don’t think I know what anything else is anymore.
I need to find out. I need this to be over. I need to move on.
I’ve always needed to move on.
I believe you can love someone from the moment you meet them. I realized that the day I saw you, even if it was hard to tell from your looks that you really were a man. I still believe that now every time I picture your smile.
And your smile shines out of that family portrait with your family, and they are just as beautiful as you are.
I can’t watch and I can’t wish any more.
But I know I can’t forget.
I can love you from here.
Ogawa Tetsuya
There was no return address.
The request:
xstreetofalice:And it never hit me, until that exact moment, how strong of a person that he was.
That's what just popped in to my head as I began to write this, so I thought that I should put it there. Because it adds an extra perspective to it. L'arc has to break up and this is like, five years down the future. There has never been any talk of loving anyone and hyde's happily married to Megumi with his kid and tetsu's all doing his thing and so are everyone else. Then, for some reason, they do this whole "Let's get the band together and go out" again thing. They all go home and tetsu's walking hyde to the door and hands him a postcard with a mountain on it and walks away. It's a postcard about how tetsu's leaving to go be away from fame and all that good stuff, and on the postcard he reveals his always been secret love for hyde. But! There's no return address, so tetsu disappears and the hyde can not find him.
Comment if you read
Requests are open here.
