Title: White Horses
Category: Poetry (friendship, love, self)
Date: 1/05/04


White Horses

Tonight,
Like all nights
I am so lonely.
The night is warm and comfortable.
And wearing but a nightie
I sit
Out on the back porch, staring up at the third-quarter moon.
Oh, man in the moon,
Will you be my prince?
Ah, no need to be silly.
Life is not a fairy tale.
No knight in shining armor will wisk me away into the night
On his white stallion
To live happily ever after.
I wouldn’t even want that.
I just want to stay right here
On the back porch
Staring at the moonlight
With someone to love me
Beside me.
Someone who won’t care
That this is last year’s nightie,
Old, with the colors fading away.
Or that I washed all my makeup off,
And my skin is not smooth.
That I let my hair air dry tonight
And it’s become tangled.
Someone who will not judge me for my appearance.
And someone who understands my quirks.
That I won’t ask a straightforward question,
But dance around the issue becoming more and more embarrassed,
Until I blurt it out in a self-conscious rush.
Am I asking too much?
Of course I am.
I’ve never found such a man.
Or even such a friend.
But when the time comes to look back,
Will I regret it?
Will I wish I had changed who I was so I could find someone?
Perhaps.
But I must say that I doubt it.
What I see myself as and remaining true to it,
Even if it leaves me all alone,
Is worth it.
And when I find the one who accepts me for me,
I will appreciate them all the more.
I can wait.
I can wait forever.
I can die old and alone
And never regret my choices.
I know it.
Don’t be so quick to judge.
It will get lonely.
But it is better to have real solitude by yourself as yourself
Than to feel alone in a group that loves a false image.